It is sometimes hard to live in this modern world. You can find all kinds of imperatives you have to follow and tips for a better life that you have not even asked for. Ellen Starr Counselling toronto will tell you what happiness really means.
The most common imperative of all is known as “be happy.”
Media and social networks are full of tips to make you happy in 5 steps. You can watch these every day, and if you do not get that kind of ending, you’ll be disappointed because you are used to being served with a “happy life”. Then, when people come to psychotherapeutic sessions, often with the question of what goal they want to achieve with the therapist, they respond with: “To be happy!”.
And what does it mean to “be happy”?
Happiness is fluid – its definition for us changes as we grow, as humans and as individuals. It is a concept that is definitely different from man to man. For some, happiness is just the aforementioned love, so there is a sign of equality among these two concepts. For others, luck is when you are healthy, or when you have a lot of friends, and others are lucky again in the shoes they have or the number of zeros in the bank account.
Happiness is a relative term, which varies from country to country, as well as the latest research on the happiest countries in the world. Surprising data were that, for example, The United States, which many think is the happiest country, is only ranked 13th. Scandinavian countries, Switzerland, Iceland, Canada, New Zealand, Australia are in the first positions. The first thing that will come to your mind is that they are economically powerful countries and that’s why they are at the top of the ladder of happiness that their citizens feel. However, on the 14th place is Costa Rica, which is quoted much better than e.g. France, which is also a well-developed Western European country and occupied the 32nd place.
All previous data indicate that material things are not the only measure of our happiness. Safety, stability, and values that the society imposes play an important role here. These values in society are promoted as an ideal that is desirable and welcome, and over time, it easily becomes an imperative, into a “must.” This “must” is not always served directly as such, but when the message “be happy” filters through all the channels and overwhelms us, we then add this big sign of the exclamation marker to the end of the message and we begin to deny any other reality. All this is easier when the circumstances are favorable. And what do we do when our circumstances make our journey to happiness difficult?
How to be happy in unfortunate circumstances?
That’s where the problem arises. First, there is a society that imparts certain values and commonly accepted definitions of happiness.
You’re happy if you have a roof over your head, a car, a steady and secure job.
You’re happy if you find the “person of your life,” get married and have a lot of kids.
You’re happy if you can travel with family, if you have a lot of friends with whom you regularly hang out.